Motivational, Thoughts

An Open Letter from the Man Who Loves You

IMG_2899

To those who are waiting for “the knight in shining armor” / “Mr. Right” / “THE One”… I understand all that you’ve been through, for I have once been there too. I know how it feels like to sit quietly in the corner, waiting for him to notice you. It’s also familiar to me, the feeling of butterflies in the stomach, that topsy-turvy, roller-coaster feeling that gets you giddy all over. That nervousness and loss of words when he finally talks to you. Oh my, that high school romance. From the first crush, to the first love, to the first heartbreak, I know the thrill, the joy and the pain of it all.

This is an open letter, from the man will love you unconditionally. No, this kind of love is beautiful, and does NOT exist only in paperback books, novels and movies. Just wait, you will see.


Hello beautiful,

You look so peaceful in your sleep tonight, I am tempted to wake you up just to say how much I love you. That’s why I’m writing this letter to you instead, so you could read it in the morning; hoping it would be enough to let you know how truly blessed I am that the first blessing I see when I wake up is you.

We’ve been married for three years now, has time really gone by that quickly? It seems like just yesterday when we said “I Do”.

Yesterday, I woke up and saw you with your messy hair spread on the pillows. I smiled at the way the sides of your lips twitch adorably as you sleep. As the sunlight hits your beautiful face, I notice the faint signs of wrinkling around your eyes, it saddens me to think how we can never be the same age twice. I brush your cheek lightly and smile, because I know that no matter how you look many years from now, you will always have those eyes full of life and laughter; and that heart overflowing with kindness. We may never be the same age twice, but I choose to grow every second older with no one else but you. My beautiful wife, I want to let you know, that from the moment I wake up until I lay down to sleep, my heart is full of nothing more but love for you.

I think back to the time we were at the park several years ago. I consider that summer to be the very definition of perfect. You were in a simple blue sundress with your hair tied up in a ponytail. You looked absolutely beautiful ─ as you still are today, if not even more so. I was watching you happily savouring the vanilla ice cream cone I bought you; like it was the best thing in the world. I guess that’s one of the many qualities I adore about you ─ you love the simple things.

As we were slowly approaching the end of the park, I grew quiet as I realized our day together would soon come to an end. I knew it would take days before I could be with you again. I looked at you as you were talking about your dream to open a café someday. You were narrating with such eagerness and passion, it surprises me how you could visualize it with such detail. You went on animatedly: “The café will be a little rustic with wooden interiors and a slightly industrial look. Oh, of course an herb garden out front for you to grow too!”

My heart did a little summersault. You knew I loved to garden and hope to start my own farm someday, I was happy that you did not forget. But I was happier when you mentioned it was not just your café, but ours. I was part of your dream. The same way I dream of spending my future with you.

I imagined life without hearing the sound of your voice, without knowing how you are or without holding you in my arms. That day I knew I couldn’t see my tomorrows without you in it, the beautiful, simple girl I fell deeply, unconditionally in love with. My love, aside from our wedding, that day in the park would be the second best day of my life because that was when I asked you to be my Forever.

I’m whisked back from my reverie and I’m watching the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you sleep. Within it is your heart; faithful, gentle, fragile and ageless. Darling, I know I have wronged you countless times. I have promised to keep you happy for the rest of our lives, to take care of your precious heart; yet here I am being the source of your pain, too. I am asking for your forgiveness for the times I overlook the little sacrifices you make, the moments I have neglected spending time with you and the ways I have hurt you without realizing until it’s too late.

When we fight, I know that you cry secretly at night with your tears soaking the pillow. It is during these times when I ache within, wanting to reach out, to hold you, to let you know you are not alone. I am in bed right next to you, yet I never do, thinking you might “need some time alone”. I realize just now that you’ve spent enough years on your own, it is selfish of me to put you back into that place. I am here with you now, through the joy and the pain, there is no need to leave you alone to suffer the way you did. I want to say I’m truly sorry, for all that and more, and I am thankful, that your heart never ceased loving me through it all.

I look down and gently touch your hand. I see the trail of white patches on your fingertips, it has spread a little bit more now, like it does every passing day. You call this a disease and a cause of your physical insecurities. You even had it checked by the doctor to find ways to stop the spreading, but to no avail. My love, stop looking for ways to conform to the world’s standards of beauty. Each day I would kiss your fingers, look you in the eye and tell you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world.  Your “imperfections” are beautiful. I is a part of you, it makes you unique, it’s an abstract artwork that only those who understand you would know how to love and appreciate.

I want you to know that I love everything about you. I love how expressive your eyes are, when you’re sad or when you’re happy. I love how your nose would twitch when you smell food. I love how perfectly your hand fits into mine. And I love how the patches on your skin make you uniquely, insanely and perfectly beautiful.

I wonder if you’ve ever felt this overflow of emotions. The mixture of joy, wistfulness, pain and love all at the same time. Right now there is nothing more in the world I want to do than to make you happy. I want to be the reason for the smile on your face, I want to be there for you in your achievements, I want my arms to be your “home” and I want to hold your hand as we go through life together.

Do you remember when we were younger how we looked for love? We believed that the sooner we ease the loneliness, the happier we will be. We were so young and naïve, always wanting, always looking, but never really finding. It took us the worst heartache before we finally learned the hardest lesson of all ─ waiting. We’ve been friends for a long time, but it took three long years before our paths crossed again. It is as they say: Love comes not when you are lonely, but when you are ready. Right now seeing you next to me and having you as a part of my life, I can proudly say you are worth every second of the wait.

I confess I may not be the perfect husband at times but one thing I promise you is that I will love you with every fibre of my being. I can never thank the Lord enough for entrusting you to me. You are my every hope, my dream and my answered prayer.

I know life isn’t meant to be perfect, not even our lives as a married couple. But one thing I know for sure, is that God gave you to me, to care for you every minute of the day, to love you despite all your moodiness, to give way in arguments, to be patient during misunderstandings and to support you in your dreams.

You might ask why I wrote a letter to you out of the blue. There is no need for an occasion to say “Thank you” for being a part of my life. I love you so much more than this letter could ever express.

You are everything I have asked God for and more. I am truly blessed beyond measure.

Loving you more each day,

Your husband.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.


 

XO,

stamp design

Advertisements
Standard
Motivational, My Life Story, Thoughts

New Year Realizations

Hello everyone! It’s been a while (and I mean a really, really long time) since my last post. December has been such a blast, as I’ve decided to take a long break from work and took some time to spend time with my family. The short break has also helped me ponder on things, and this new year, I have a couple of  resolutions  realizations.


 

Realization 1:

Routine (n.) – a boring state or situation in which things are always done the same way (Webster’s)

On New Year’s Eve I was busy drawing on coasters without using a pencil beforehand. Dad commented: “You don’t pencil first before drawing with an ink pen?” to which I replied “Sometimes when you get used to it, you just go straight to using a pen”. It took me a few days before I realized, it’s a dangerous thing being “used to” something. As a person, this is what we call a routine. As an artist, this is poison. We can’t go on about life dragging ourselves along the path of mundane routines. If we could write our story, would it be like a broken record playing the same tune each day? 2015 is a blank slate where we could choose to do better, and I say “choose to” because it requires a choice and a conscious effort. Every day is a choice, to smile or frown, to hold grudges or forgive, to try something new or stick to routine.

1426573_1529401760671792_6366971930574406689_n

 

Realization 2:

Discontent (adj.) – not pleased or satisfied (Webster’s)

It’s not necessarily a bad thing. It opens your mind to the possibility of something better. Over the past couple of weeks, my mind has been a factory of ideas. There are so many things I would like to launch for SnapperDoodles this 2015. However while slowly turning  ideas into reality, from one idea to another, and one sample output to the next, I saw that they weren’t as good as I had hoped – and yes of course I was quick to give up. A dear friend told me: “It’s good that you are unhappy with the outcome, it simply shows that there is still room for improvement. There is hope to create something better. Why give up?”

20140609_151606_1

 

Realization 3:

Love (n.) and (v.) – a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person (Webster’s)

Fiction (n.) – written stories about people and events that are not real : literature that tells stories which are imagined by the writer

I must admit I’ve always wondered if “true love” is just an emotion confined in the realms of fiction books and imagination. There had been a point in my life of course, where I sought for affection and ended up clinging to something utterly temporary – and painful. By God’s redeeming grace and His perfect time, He opened my eyes to see that the love in fiction books, is real. For fellow bookworms, yes someone like Augustus Waters exists. Someone will come along and love you unconditionally – regardless of what you wear, the bad hair days, the highly unusual food cravings, the WWII-kind-of-mood-swings, they will love you because you are YOU. This will also be that someone who will make you finally believe in the elusive reality of “Forever”.

10921856_10155114865835525_1668122319_n

 

Realization 4:

Faith (n.) –  “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1)

I not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve always been afraid of New Years. I know what you’re thinking:  “What?! Why? But it’s an exciting thing to welcome another year! Lots of fireworks – and food!”

Like most people, I am a person who is prone to fear, worry, regret and insecurity. I am insecure about my abilities, where I am and where I’m going. I regret the past and try to charge it to experience. I worry about the future, and I fear it at the same time. Fear of what the year may bring, fear of the incapability to meet my own standards, fear of the possible failure to keep Snapperdoodles going, fear of displeasing my peers, fear here, there and everywhere.

On New Year’s Eve, our room was silent, I could only hear the breaths of my sleeping brothers next to me. They we sleeping so soundly despite the loud noise – or maybe the noise was really just in my head. All those fears, the worries and the doubts. I quieted the voices in my head and prayed, earnestly and sincerely: “Father, I’m scared of the coming year and what it would be like for me.” I read the Bible and this beautiful verse brought me to silent tears.

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

IMG_1440

NEVER ( adv.) – not in any degree :  not under any condition

Never. Now that I think about it, what a strong word that is. How many times have the people in our lives live up to that one-word promise?

The welcoming of a new year could be a beautiful chance to start anew, or another dreadful 365-days to live through. Whatever it might be for us, it should be considered a blessing nonetheless.

For those who are afraid of the future, like myself here is what God told me  on New Year’s Eve:

“I know you are worried about many things. Have you not seen how I have brought you through 2014? Dont you believe that I can bring you through again this time? I have never left you to fend for yourself. I never left you, and I never will. I know you do not doubt Me, but yourself and your abilities to make it through another year. Throughout 2014, I have shown my power through your weaknesses and I will continue to. So do not worry about what you can’t do, this time, think about what I can do.”

Have faith. He will bring you through.

Xo,

Untitled-2

Standard